Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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