There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
tell me about the fingering
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