I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize