i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
