Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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