Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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