Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
