You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
