Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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