i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
