My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
