how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
