cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
