Non-Jews are for practice
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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