My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize