i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
