The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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