I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
