would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I could fuck to npr.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
