don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
