there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
