she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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