whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
