Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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