This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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