i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No subtext here. People are naked.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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