Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
