Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
