Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
