Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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