I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
