honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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