lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
