remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
operation have a gay friend backfired
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I can feel your judgement through the phone
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize