Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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