he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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