Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize