Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
