Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
