when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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