You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
