dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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