You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
