I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
organizing the empties. That sober.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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