Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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