Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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