I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
