its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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