I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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