Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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