Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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