using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
