He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
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