Got a toothbrush?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
