What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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