U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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