omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
nutella sex= disaster
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
