My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
