Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
