I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
