if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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