fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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