what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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