So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
