Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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