i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
