1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
These tits shall not be calmed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
