Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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