Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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