I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
