Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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