The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just gargled with NyQuil
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize