naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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