I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
