She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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