Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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