Everything about him screamed your future.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
